


you were the sun

by WoodenDeer



Series: ...and even stars don't watch [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Ardyn Izunia Needs A Hug, Episode Ardyn Prologue, Episode Ardyn Prologue Spoilers, Gen, Many hugs actually but he gets what he gets, Minor Character Death, Somnus is a dick but nothing new, Tough Brotherly Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:28:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23936122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WoodenDeer/pseuds/WoodenDeer
Summary: One half of his world crashed before his eyes, and the second half turned out to be a distorted mirror.
Series: ...and even stars don't watch [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725409
Comments: 10
Kudos: 15





	you were the sun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Glorilian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glorilian/gifts).



_You were standing there like an angry god_

_Counting out my sins just to cross them off_

_Saying that my tongue was too loud to trust_

_And that my blood couldn't keep you_

Echos – Saints

It was almost serene on the highest floor of the Tower. Gray and pale blue enveloped the throne room; the Crystal shimmered mysteriously above the chair. The peep of belated dawn chased shadows away and spared them no shelter to hide among the ring of colonnade. The morning was exulting in its victory, bringing salt wind with it and sound of waves crashing against a cliff. If one listened intentionally, they could perceive the distant calls of seagulls. But Ardyn Lucis Caelum listened solely to his brother, being pinned to the floor, face down. 

Spears, swords, a few knives and seemingly one ax pierced his prone body – anything to restrain the menace that the monster posed. He didn’t resist anymore. Strength forsook him and so the need to fight back. Consuming fury which had been igniting his judgment before died down to smouldering coals, and cold breeze put out what remained of them, leaving only hollow numbness instead. Aera’s body laid near him but not close enough to reach. Ardyn knew it, he’d tried. His king brother was talking, he had to heed his words. Even if they were everything he feared to hear.

“...People will be transferred to the capital and nearby settlements, whereas all remote villages, ports and fortresses will stop getting supplies and military defence. Immigrants won’t be able to cross the gates of the crown city until a three-week quarantine proves their health and clarity. It’s a necessary measure to prevent further spread of the Starscourge and it won’t be permanent, but the state of emergency might take years, and I...” Somnus shared his plans with Ardyn while pacing the hall. They would sound reassuring, though tough, except Ardyn had distinguished ‘stop supplies and defending’ and ‘quarantine’, therefore he did not feel any relief. He found it nauseating instead.

Lucis had too large of a territory to accommodate all refugees in one city that meant abandoning thousands of people with _those who were afflicted_ – Ardyn hadn’t called them ‘daemons’ and wasn’t going to start then. The quarantine wasn’t a solution either – food and lodgings would be insufficient to that great amount of wanderers, which would lead to unsanitary conditions, riots and mass deaths. Ardyn understood it and was aware that Somnus understood it as well. His brother ranted about contentment and well-being of others but ignored his surroundings – all his promises sounded perverted against the background of stilled bodies – unwanted witnesses, unnecessary victims. Like that nobility, killing the Oracle will fall on his shoulders too.

Occasionally his consciousness became faint due to the chill spreading over his limbs, and meanings of words eluded him for which he was grateful. Instead of futile listening, Ardyn focused on Somnus’ ever moving figure. It had been a while since they last met, and longer still since they had last been alone. His baby brother had long matured and turned into a charismatic strong man, albeit his spiky hair remained the same. Ardyn chuckled blankly. Sentiment, his sworn enemy. Right then he was too weak to fight it. So he watched.

And he saw the same fair skin of his brother, vulnerable to the sun, and uneven gait – a reminder of the old injury younger, less experienced Ardyn wasn’t able to fully heal, and later, when he gained enough magic and mastery to do so, they already had cut all ties. His chest tightened for a reason unrelated to the swords in his ribcage. When was the exact moment they destroyed what they built together? The moment when their Blades crossed, causing the crowd gasp? That ugly quarrel in front of another human bonfire after which they parted their ways? The day when the horde of afflicted took their parents’ lives? Or much earlier? When? When? _When they lost each other?_

A single tear rolled down Ardyn’s cheek and then one more til he couldn’t see properly. The outside view was a blurred mess of colors and shapes, thus he greeted the images that started to play behind his eyes. Fever toyed with his memories and selected the cherished ones. The wooden sword he made for Somnus’ eighth birthday; his little brother had carried it with himself everywhere before he acquired a real weapon at fourteen. The stormy nights, dark and scary, that they fell asleep in the same bed. The chess duels he deliberately threw that inevitably angered Somnus; he always laughed at his demands for a rematch and gave in again. The wine bottle stolen from the pantry, the little secret kept from their parents. They carried a lot of secrets but never from each other. Mutual ambitions, mutual interests, mutual dreams… they did everything in tandem. So was it the cruel world with real horrors and difficult decisions which divided them? Or… was it he who stayed blind far too long? 

“...Leide will be the center of daemons’ annihilation, a bug pit: prolonged clear days won’t let monsters to scatter and will reduce their numbers significantly. If not enough volunteers respond to the gathering, I will force the infected and suspects to take up arms and hunt their own daemonic kind – it’s the only benefit they can provide. After all, they’re already dead despite your foolish denial,” every phrase Somnus pushed into Ardyn’s delirious mind ended up as a spiteful insult or blame, and somehow they never missed their target hitting the hardest. Foolish. Delusional. Infantile. In vain. For nought. Disappointment. Disgrace. Despicable. Bad omen.

Monster. 

“Now that you can no longer stand in my way, I can finally implement all my plans. No more interfering with my duty! Neither you, nor anyone else will hinder me this time,” and oh, Somnus looked more enraged than Ardyn had ever seen him. Growling and swearing, waving his hands and shouting, he became the wrath of Ramuh himself, ready to strike a sinner with a lightning bolt. “You had a chance for the best life if only you’d paid heed to common sense from the beginning. Yet you preferred to keep smiling and let our people suffer because you were too _benevolent_ and _noble_ to get your hands dirty!”

Was he really such a nuisance to his family? A bane to those he swore to protect? He did what he supposed was right. Stay human, value other people’s lives above your own. But was it all his fault? 

“And _this_ ,” Somnus yanked Aera’s body up by her hair, making Ardyn choke, “is your fault!” 

The thin figure fell heavily in inches from him. From his position Ardyn saw how deep was the wound severing the woman’s back. The wound that was meant for him, inflicted by his brother’s hand. Somnus kept yelling but he didn’t hear. Despite the pain, he raised his head and glared at the place where milk white turned into slit oozing red so dark it seemed black. A blink – and a thick drop trailed down the skin. A second – and fury returned to Ardyn, threatening to bury him under its fierce impulses and needs. Tension lit up his muscles, his blood began to melt the metal of swords, he bared sharpened teeth in soundless snarl and-

It faded away. All of his urges and wants, they simply disappeared like smoke. He was empty. Empty, empty, empty... en echo bouncing off surfaces, light and trivial. He could not even preserve the remnants of his beloved’s dignity. His own sense of worth was gone. 

Somnus spoke stiffly with his voice full of solemnity.

“Starting today, hundreds of thousands lives will be saved.” Ardyn gazed intently at the red on the white. It was there, staring back at him with its gaping evidence. “I will free my people from the oppression of monsters you connived.” He wished his eyes were gouged out because he wanted but couldn’t avert them nor turn away. His Aera, his beautiful Aera didn’t let his eyes go. “The calamity that afflicted humanity for decades will cease to exist, all thanks to your glorious sacrifice. Rejoice, finally you serve your people for the good.” But he had to face the truth.“You must be proud, _brother_.” 

“I am sorry…” Quiet whimper took Somnus by surprise in the middle of his speech. For some time there was silence and serenity again. Waves, seagulls, crackling torches. The two in the spacious throne room.

“What did you say?” a hiss in response – a snake in disguise. The king clenched and unclenched his fists, looking down at the prostrate man under his legs, disbelievingly. “What did you say!?” his scream rang through the hall like thunder. 

“I am sorry,” words were tight to grasp but important to express. “I dedicated myself to others and left you behind,” he realized it too late. One half of his world crashed before his eyes, and the second half turned out to be a distorted mirror. And it was entirely his fault. “If I had been more observing, I could have prevented your kind heart from hardening. If only I was there for y–”

A kick in the jaw interrupted his apologies. A crunch was heard; the pinned body jerked convulsively, but the blades piercing him were firmly stuck in the floor right through the flesh. “I am sor–” another kick, then a blow to the back of the head – so harsh that cracks spread across the stone and the viscous Scourge filled them. A cry.

“Don’t be condescending, damn it! I had enough of this my whole life! Stop it! Just stop it! Why can’t you stop?!” the foot was replaced by hand squeezing hair in a heartlessly tough grip. The web of black threads spread quickly further; new cracks. “Being sorry isn’t what I asked you for!” 

Both brothers were panting, trying to catch their breaths and failing. Tangled hair covered Ardyn’s face, dust climbed into his mouth, and sticky poison poured back. He let the black death blight him for years. Why wasn’t he more careful? He should have paid attention to Aera’s warnings. But it’s too late to regret. Still, he _was_ sorry. He wanted nothing more than Somnus’ acceptance. Somnus’ understanding.

There was a hand on his head again but that time tender, with so much reverence that he nuzzled involuntarily to the touch whining. Heavy locks were tucked from Ardyn’s face behind his ear. One more needless but desired stroking of the temple. Hands cupped his face, each on one cheek, thumbs traced wet paths to his lower eyelids. Those fingers were calloused like his own. Ardyn did not look up: if he didn’t look, then he could pretend that it was a different time and different person. That he was happy and with his beloved family.

“You’re crying again, brother,” lightly chided him familiar chirpy voice. Youthful, giggly but somehow serious. He nodded jerkily or tried to nod. Yes, yes, he always was such a crybaby. He constantly embarrassed him with his tears, right? He was sorry, just don’t stop that unbearable caress over his hair, brows, ears… 

“But I know it’s not because you’re in pain. You cry for me, for others, for the whole world. Other people’s mistakes are your mistakes, that has never changed. Open arms, sealed thoughts... It was so hard to understand what you think about behind that smile. Oh, I _hated_ it,” his little brother hurt him, but only for a moment. The next moment his touch was gentle again, and his voice was raw because of sorrow. “I felt that smile was stealing you from me. My pride, my precious treasure. My dear Ardyn–”

– _please please please call me your brother once more and be my dear brother_ –

“–you were the sun. Bringing life and joy to every land whither your foot stepped. The pure light, so bright that it blinded sometimes. The King of Light – do you remember? You laughed when I called you this. But it was the truth: you were the sun that replaced the dying fireball in the skies of our Star. However–”

– _no nonono please don’t leave me_ –

“–the sun tends to find its set, no matter how brightly it shines. But fear not, a new light comes later. It is already here, do you feel it?” one hand left his cheeks, and he nearly howled at the loss. Maybe he did. But after that the second hand – the thread holding his reality together – disappeared too. Ice gnawed on his wet cheeks instead; it snuck under his skin and melted in blood, ever present, freezing, spreading numbness over his being. Rustling of clothes, and the last remains of warmth were carried away. “Darkness is your home henceforth, Ardyn. Accept your fate humbly and let people live on.”

He didn’t listen to what was said further. Someone else’s voices, someone else’s steps, movements, removal of the weapons – though not all of them – from his body, it all went unnoticed by him. Hands of strangers lifted his lifeless figure, grabbing roughly, jolting him. He still didn’t care. He was somewhere far from there, lying on the spring grass of a meadow or sitting in his mother’s kitchen. Strands of hair that turned reddish hid the room behind the impenetrable veil from him. Concealed him from the world. As harsh hands dragged him from the king further and further away, he managed to catch only flickering of blue flashes. He once compared them to fallen stars. They were as cold and distant as the man standing alone before the throne.

Cold and distant like Ardyn himself.

*** 

When darkness came, he finally comprehended that his sun had fallen. But newborn light never reached him.

So he became Darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> YO THERE WILL BE ANOTHER FIC AND IT'LL BREAK YOU IF THIS ONE DIDN'T


End file.
